Where Loyalties Lie

Every human caries within them a reservoir of pain, inherent in the separation of our ego self from the divine whole (i.e. being born). All of us have ways of disconnecting from the full unbearable intensity of that pain which also creates distance between us and those we love.

A relationships asks us to stretch outside our comfort zone to really see and feel another. At some point in that process we will brush up against our reservoir of pain. When this happens, there is a choice: feel and begin to heal the pain that is there in order to fully meet and welcome our partner in or disconnect from our partner in order to avoid a pain we are not ready to encounter.

All of us make this choice in varying degrees each moment. It is ironic that many feel threatened by work or another person stealing their partner away. Pain and the defenses that guard it are far more threatening. The relationship to this pain is often the fulcrum upon which distance and intimacy turns.

Action: Take inventory: how do you disconnect from, control, and shut down your partner in order to maintain your emotional comfort level?

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose