I Love You
The words “I love you,” early on in a relationship bring up a well justified fear for most. These words remind us of broken promises. Of times we thought we could trust someone to always be there and were betrayed in that trust. The times we thought that if someone felt love they would always feel love for us. And if they felt love they would never do anything to hurt us. The word “love” has infinite meanings. The odds are a hundred to one against that a new partner will know what you mean when you say you love them. Because misunderstandings around love hurt so much we all want to avoid that pain. And with the odds of misunderstandings so high, it is a sad reality that the easiest way to avoid pain is not to say “I love you” and not to let it in when we hear the words said. The wound around these words is much deeper than many of us can begin to realize.“I love you.” It is such a sacred bond that we all feel at times. The solution is not to block the saying or the hearing, but to heal the potential for broken trust by seeking clarification. When I tell someone I love them, I notice their body language and response. I then ask, how it is for them to hear these words and I listen. I then share what I mean when I say those words, which is often something like this: “In this moment when I look at you I feel a giddy sense of happiness. I feel joy just feeling this feeling in my heart. You look so beautiful to my eyes, in all of your unique and strange ways you think, move and feel. I’m grateful to feel close to you. I’m glad you are hear. And these words I love you sum up my experience and seem to say it all. I’m not promising anything. I’m not saying I will always feel this way or that I will marry you or anything else. I just want you to know I am feeling all of this in this moment and it is absolutely wonderful!”Action: Say “I love you” to the ones who are special to you. Then tell them what you mean in that instance. When you hear your partner say those words to you, ask them what they mean?
Cresting the Waves:
A guide to sailing through life on
Relation-Ships
Dane E. Rose
