A Gift to Our Partners
As beloved's, we probably have more influence on our partners than anyone else. Whether this impact is profoundly empowering or destructive is determined in large part with how we choose to relate to their budding and un-integrated personas. These dis- integrated faces of self can be frustrating and painful to deal with. It is easy to send our partners messages that we would be much happier if they did not exist. This is a crisis of vision and perhaps logistics. For it is these very selves that, once integrated in a healthy way will support our partners in becoming the fully actualized dream we long to be partners with. We have a unique opportunity to see the goodness of our partners and to nurture them in their process of embracing all of their selves and finding a space in the world where they are valued. To do this, notice the inherent energy behind the behavior you find difficult in your partner. Perhaps there is a stubborn streak that is powerful, an uncompromising vision that is not practical for day to day living. Rather than asking your partner to suppress this valuable raw material, help them find environments where vision and stubbornness is exactly what is needed and valued. Action: Create a vision together with your partner that includes all of the qualities you dislike in your partner and all of the qualities your partner judges in you being used in a way that honors and values their contribution.
Cresting the Waves:
A guide to sailing through life on
Relation-Ships
Dane E. Rose
