Addictive Cycles
An addictive cycle is formed when a pattern of behavior both separates us from something we want and sooths the pain of being separate. It creates an endless loop that serves to distract us from the real cause of our separation, without healing it. Behind every addictive behavior is a need that is being unmet, precluded and medicated by the addictive behavior.It often starts with a judgment that separates us from a part of ourselves: “this part of me is foolish, dumb, insignificant.” We follow this with feelings of shame. When we are separate from parts of ourselves we feel incomplete, leading to a sense of inadequacy. If we are aware of the loss we will feel rage.
This rage will take a form: hostility, superiority, self pity, guilt. We need to keep people out so they won’t see this. Separate now from others, it confirms that we are insignificant. We feel more inadequacy. The core need to be accepted as we are, as significant beings, is not met.Action: Pick an addictive area in your life. Journal to find what the underlying pain of separation stems from. Assess how your behavior currently keeps you separate and in pain. Seek support in healing this separate pain.
Cresting the Waves:
A guide to sailing through life on
Relation-Ships
Dane E. Rose
