Undervalued Stocks

This book is a collection of generally undervalued “stocks” or ideas. There is value in everything. Our inability to see the value in something reflects our inability to think outside our current box, which defines value.

When something is labeled “bad,” parts of it become invisible, to our detriment. Let’s take “violence” as an example. Surely we all agree that it is “bad?” But what are the positive sides of violence. When is violence the preferable tool, and preferable to what?

I’d prefer a good slap in the face any day over the passive aggression of a partner repeatedly forgetting dates, lying about their interest in a conversation and having an affair. Some yelling would not be so bad either. More and more of our natural aggression is suppressed by our cultural judgments of appropriate behavior. But does this change the energy, or just make the expression more covert?  No neighbors witness you “forgetting” to do what you said, but they report screaming and avoid you.

Violence is an example of an undervalued idea because it’s alternatives are not fully comprehended, and the consequences of suppressing it are not seen. We pay the price for this oversight with lies and betrayals every day that make it increasingly unsafe to find true and trustworthy friends. The reality is that once aggression is present it will express itself in some way or other, overt or covert, at ourselves or at others, consciously or unconsciously. Very few have the ability and willingness to transmute aggression all the time so when we can't the question is what is the preferred outlet?

Action: Consider making an agreement with a partner to deal with frustration and hostility in the relationship with violence within boundaries. Wrestling, pushing each other with pillows, yelling at agreed times and even slaps on the face with permission and an agreed upon intensity level could be great ways to rapidly diffuse energy, and ironically, create intimacy.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose