Understanding Values

The love we so desperately seek lies waiting inside us in the form of a perfect embodiment of our ideal partner who is a part of us.  We find pieces of this perfect partner in another. In a "good" relationship we find many pieces.

This optimal partner within us is hidden by a mask most often created by the parent of the opposite gender. Whether our feeling towards the creator of the mask is sympathy, ambivalence or antipathy, the mask, rather than our true inner partner, creates our template of relationship. The deep sense of unlovability many feel is in part because in our confusion between our true template and the template provided by the mask, we seek love in places that cannot feed us. And we avoid love from those who can deeply nurture us because it is not recognizable when overlaid with the template of the mask. Only when we strip away the blinding projections can we find the one who loves us totally within, and thus recognize the echoes of that love in appropriate partners around us.

Mating with another human being at a soul level is a choice, and a gift we can give in freedom when we mate the different pieces to ourselves together.

Action: Give your self that most precious gift of freedom: the gift of loving, accepting and marrying yourself exactly as you truly are. 

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose