Threatened By Another's Truth
The desire to control each others thoughts and feelings stems in part from a desire to feel connected and a belief that that connection cannot exist until we think and feel the same. This belief leads to wholesale intimidation, destruction and punishment of a great deal of what we have to offer as individuals. No amount of force can overcome the technical impossibility of creating the same point of view, so those attempting to impose truth rest heavily on their ability to “blind” others and demand adherence. There is another less direct approach to creating conforming perspectives, which is to impose or invite conformity of lifestyle so that our shared experience will be similar on many things. All of this force of control is to overcome the fact that we define our selves by our perspective, not by our essence. As you read these words you may be listening more to what I am saying than to the energy of who I am. As a result you will feel closer, further away, or completely disconnected by reading about what I see when it is technically impossible for you to identically concur. By making it a requirement that we agree in order to love or feel connected in much deeper ways, we insure a life of loneliness and separation, superiority and inferiority, right and wrong. Imagination with respect and humility is the bridge that can allow us to stand proudly where we are, saying what we see, and still being able to relate and understand at least some of where another comes from. In a paradigm of “either or” another’s powerful truth is deeply threatening – because it could invalidate so much of our perceived basis of identity. We fight wars over this more than anything else. The most dangerous perspectives of all are those that suggest the invalidity of all the others. But this perspective also, must be honored. It is how the universe looks when standing in certain points looking in specific directions. It is the job of everyone else who can see the value of all perspectives to hold space for that voice, while not allowing its fear to bully our voice out of existence. Action: Consider another's point of view that you find threatening. Ask your self: what is the specific thing you fear about this point of view in it's practical manifestation? Consider a way to embrace this view and still create what you want. Consider another way to attack the point of view you find threatening. Notice which approach appeals to you. Political points of view are a good arena to play with this.
Cresting the Waves:
A guide to sailing through life on
Relation-Ships
Dane E. Rose
