Self Pity Ritual

All of us as humans experience things happening to us that trigger the full range of expanding and contracting emotions within. We have all been treated unfairly at times, lied to, and expected to do things we lack the energy or skills to do. To some degree this happens every day. Self pity is a natural human experience in response. Part of self respect is to value and express all of our experiences by taking the time to be seen and heard.

A pity ritual is all about honoring all that has been disrespected, trampled on, burdened and unappreciated in your self. Here’s how it works: Request a compassionate friend or lover to listen to all your gripes for anywhere from twenty minutes and an hour and a half (agree on a time frame). During that time their job is to hold and pamper you, and as you list each gripe. As they do ask them to commiserate by saying things like “that is so unfair!” Or “those bastards.” If  in doubt they should acknowledge each gripe with a “poor (your name).” Have fun with it! It can be very cathartic to have someone else understand all the weights we carry in order to be liked, avoid judgment and secure continued love and survival.

Action: Notice when you feel burdened, unfairly treated and unappreciated. Make the time to create a pity ritual with a compassionate friend or lover.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose