The Power of Yes!
Endings can be a source of deep pain and depression for Those conscious enough realize that the relationship did not just mysteriously end. Perhaps you are conscious enough to have noticed vague impulses to run, rage, and push your partner in ways. Or if not conscious of the feelings, perhaps you have watched yourself do just the things at just the right time that trigger your partner. Perhaps you have watched your partner at their most vulnerable moments set you up to hurt them in ways that were almost impossible to avoid. One of the most terrifying experiences in life is to be deep in the love we have always wanted and realize we are in a semi conscious quick sand with factions within us and our partner that want to sabotage it. This produces so much stress that withdrawal, angry outbursts, blame and distancing behavior are common. Fearing this terrain is what stops many of us from going deep in the first place. The most important thing is not to take your partner’s behavior personally. If they do not have the skill to love deeply, they will push anyone away. You have not failed. The next thing is to be conscious that the most challenging skill in life: sustainable deep loving is not taught or modeled very often. You are mastering some deep skills on your own. Be tender with yourselves. Action: Talk about this dynamic with your partner on an ongoing basis. Accept that each of you does lack the skill to do this perfectly – and that a team with outside support will help each of you to develop in this area.
Cresting the Waves:
A guide to sailing through life on
Relation-Ships
Dane E. Rose
