Open and Closed Systems

In a closed system we can change the shape of the energy that is present and redistribute it within the system, but can neither add or subtract from the amount of energy present. If a company has a set amount of income, than if one employee makes more, perhaps another must make less to pay for it. It is a closed system mentality that results in resentment of those with wealth. The assumption is that the wealthy have taken from the poor. When wealth is earned in a closed system this may be true, but many times it is not.

It is similar with our lives: when we are in a closed system with a fixed amount of energy, giving more energy to our jobs leads to less energy for relationships. If we spend energy on alone time our children get less attention. Self love becomes a sin because it is perceived as leading to less for others.

An open system allows new energy to be brought in from outside and excess energy to be siphoned off. There is the potential to spend more energy at our jobs and more energy on our relationships simultaneously. To use a personal example: In my landscape business, when I hired employees it opened my companies ability to do more work than my body could cope with alone. It allowed more money to get made, leading to more time and money to spend on healing work. Which in turn led to more energy and availability for relationship. And in the process several people who were unemployed found work. And clients got their jobs done faster. With the system limited to my own body, if clients were in a rush, I would have to work harder and might suffer pain as a result. With employees, I might need to hire more. 

One of the dangers of a mismatched monogamous sexual relationship is they become closed systems in which one party must lose for the other to win. In unhealthy relationships there can be pressure born of insecurity not to reach outside the partnership for support, friendship, touch, new learning and fun. As a result both parties will grow smaller, as energy is spent controlling the other and neglecting our selves.

Whenever you are functioning in a win/lose paradigm it is evident that you are looking through the lens of a closed system. By expanding the boundary of the system beyond the cocoon of two people, you create infinite possibilities. Doing so in a way that honors the sacredness of your partnership is an art. We are incapable of existing in a completely open system as human beings and so the challenge is finding the right boundary for you and your partners.

Action: Pick an area of win/lose and assess a number of remedies by opening up the system. Assess whether the benefits of opening the system outweigh the costs to the system.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose