Many Kinds of Love

When we enter the dimension of love by embracing love's eyes, we see the divine beauty in all things. This is not the love of a society, or even a human love. To look truly with the eyes of love is to look upon our selves and others with the eyes of a god or goddess. With these eyes there is beauty in joy, and in the twisted desire for joy that leads to stomping on the joy of others. There is beauty in the sudden shock of another, rent from their connection with joy and in the anger that wants to attack anything that would take such joy from them. There is beauty in the sadness that overrides such an impulse to attack. Things that we have come to see as ugly become beautiful when we see the energy that is behind and beneath the surface of all behavior: that original impulse is always sacred and beautiful and originates in love.

When all we see carries both a joy for the awareness of its love and a sadness for the ways that love does not reach its full potential in physical form, we have entered the domain that is love. Only then can we embrace all that we are and all that we have become with compassion.

Entering this domain of love, through falling or other means, is not the same as standing in love. While we can enter the domain of love and be touched by the sweet sadness and beauty of all things, such eyes are not enough to function in our daily lives. Seeing the beauty within violence without the protection of our ego eye, leaves the ego self unprotected and at risk of death.

As physical selves, there is therefore more than one eye that is needed: an eye to set the boundary and create the safety needed for such unmitigated “yes.” Doing so with another who has shown they will put your well being above their own is one such safety. In our wisdom very few of us do enter the world of love instinctually without such conditions.

One of the paradoxes we may have encountered is entering the domain of love with someone who cares very little for us as individuals. We can enter love’s domain alone or with anyone. This often leads to the experience of love’s betrayal. It is not love that has betrayed us. Love is an eye through who’s portal we are a “yes” to those we love, even when it hurts our ego self. There is another eye, through our ego self, that is always a “no” to anything that could hurt us.

Opening into a space of love is an act of extreme vulnerability, because we will desire in that place to give everything to our partner. When that is mutual, and grounded in boundaries of respect and self love, this is one of the most profound experiences we can have as human beings. When it is done without such selectiveness with ones partner and without ones own awareness it can lead to immense suffering.

Even such immense suffering is bearable, even pleasurable, through the eyes of love. But as primarily physical beings, our psychological protection prevents us from continuing to experience the world in ways that leads to ongoing physical pain. Further more, when such “yes” is given without respect for one’s own well being, it draws out the abuser in partners, who may find it increasingly easy to exploit us, thus upping our pain level. When we are finally wrenched from the domain of love, our pain can be intense and the problems generated can take a lifetime to heal. This is the danger of love’s domain and of entering it without respect for its ability to affect us and our partner profoundly.

All of us distrust ourselves around love for this reason. Through it’s eyes we can do more damage without realizing it than in almost any other way. The drug of love is so good it can feel too good to stop, even as money, health, success and energy flow away from us at enormous rates. Any drug addict will tell you that no price is too high for the right fix at the right time. Most people will not allow themselves to experience the dimension of love for this very reason.

Action: Make a distinction between your “yes” to love and your partner, and your own well being. Establish clear parameters within which your “yes” is given.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose