Limitless or Limited Possibility

One of the most empowering things we can ask ourselves is are we functioning within an open ended or closed network of possibility? A closed network is anything with a clearly defined boundary. If you are a mother and have decided that the dishes need washing and one of your three kids is going to do it, then your network of possibility consists of John, Mary and Philip. If Mary is out and neither Peter or Philip wants to help, you will either use discipline to force Peter or Philip to do the chore. It's that simple. Or perhaps, being a mother, you may end up doing them yourself and feeling unappreciated.

It's no different with money: If there is a set amount of income and you want to spend the family discretionary funds that year on a holiday, than your husband has to go without his new car. This phenomena is naturally the basis of much conflict, for the message is: "You must give up something so that I can have more." When there is deep love between those involved this can be achieved without violence or the threat of it, but a tension remains between who will get what of a limited pool or resources. It is this perception that leads to so much animosity towards the wealthy: "Somebody must be doing without so these bastards can have their millions!"

In an open network of possibility it is a process of ever expanding resources and in doing so creating new choices. If the mother above decides that rather than her three kids "someone" is going to do the dishes, she now has any number of options. She could pay the neighbor next door. She could hire any number of house cleaners. She could ask her husband. Her field of possibility has suddenly risen. What's more, there may be a housekeeper out there who very much needs the money and will be very grateful for the work, creating a win/win.

The challenge is to increase the full field of possibility. Paying a housekeeper solves the problem of the dishes and makes for a happy housekeeper in our analogy, but if money is still a closed system (making it highly probable that it is in tight supply), it simply redistributes the scarcity of time into a scarcity of money. While this flexibility is valuable, to actually increase the overall energy flow into your family may involve creating new possibilities altogether. This is how wealth is created. One can "earn" wealth in a closed system but to actually create wealth is entirely different.

The challenge is to open the closed network of possibility in such a way as to synergistically create something new. In our above example, Philip and Peter are doing homework so they can satisfy their schools requirement for learning - another closed network of possibility with the intention of preparing them for life. There is only so much money from your job to  hire the housekeeper who would be happy for the work. What if Peter and Philip learned a skill that enabled them to successfully start a business that in part paid for their housekeeping responsibilities? What if in doing so not only was the family more successful financially, but you had more time and your children had even higher confidence levels. And what if the home-schooling program designed was more effective than their current school at preparing them for life and could be implemented in four hours a day, leaving time to operate the business? 

Regardless of the specific feasibility of this example, creating synergistic wealth and freedom is a process of stepping beyond the limited networks of possibility around us and imagining something else that creates success. Some environments are richer in possibility than others, and part of the art of creating win/win abundantly is to position yourself within a network of possibility that others have already created which is ideal for the things that are most important to you. And this is the key: when you create a new field of possibility, others benefit. If someone had not created film, you could not go to Hollywood to pursue that rich field of acting potential. There are so many choices available to you that others have provided through their work and creativity. But you are not limited to that. You can create new possibilities on your own that suite your current abilities, whether it is creating a new way to engage with people that works for you or a new product that fills a need.

If dating is your highest priority, your field of possibility will go up considerably in a largely populated area with lots of social venues. You don't have to build the cities or create all the venues because others have done that for you. It is still a zero sum game, but the pie is getting bigger. Let's say however that you are a man and that you consciously cultivate your skills and character in relationship to be very desirable. You have just created something new: There is now another great man on the planet that will delight any number of women that did not exist before you did that. You have created a form of wealth for others. It is not "free." You must invest imagination time and energy to position yourself and create something new, but those investments can pay off handsomely in an ever increasing network of possibility.

Action: Pick an area of win/lose and assess a number of remedies by opening up the system. Assess whether the benefits of opening the system outweigh the costs to the system.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose