Killer Programs
Sexuality is one of the biggest doorways, accessing many facets of who we are. The act of sexuality is among the most vulnerable opportunity for others to change us deeply, bringing healing, pain, or both. Why do so many people have the urge to consciously or unconsciously behave in ways that hurt their partner deeply? Each of us, by our very existence on this earth, have been terrorized in ways we have yet to understand in the areas we are most tender. In every day within the general culture, innocence, beauty, ideals, fairness and generosity are impatiently shoved aside by the vast majority in order to function in a culture that lacks the complexity required to integrate them. There is a deep hurt and powerlessness we feel around this, much of it numbed. It feels more powerful to perpetrate a crime than be it’s victim. Much of our desire to hurt is a pent up rage, hatred and hurt around our inability to protect our-selves. “Killer Programs” are game faces that we develop and “host” to hold our own in a daily life that insures we will regularly meet them in others. The most innocent and beautiful parts of ourselves cannot survive without some form of support. A “killer program” of our own seems to offer the safety to hurt others and maintain our own invulnerability. It is more likely than not that both you and any partner you open up to, has them. The question is are you both aware of them, or will they play out unconsciously?Action: To avoid being used or using sexually, pay attention to creating emotional intimacy and depth at mutual levels prior to being physically sexual. Be sensitive to your fear and resistance to being sexual when you do not feel emotionally or energetically safe.
Cresting the Waves:
A guide to sailing through life on
Relation-Ships
Dane E. Rose
