Keeper Personas

I was driving home today and saw a beautiful middle aged woman shining in her smiling innocent little girl. She had not a care in the world and for that brief moment as she left her house and walked to her car was in a timeless space. I felt instantly drawn and would have loved to play with her.

By the time I could have rolled down my window and invited her to play, another persona would likely take center stage. Probably the persona that says: “People are out to get you. Who’s this strange guy. Let’s scowl and ignore him.” I of course don’t want to interact with that character so I drove on by.

We all have “keeper personas” who’s job is to keep other people away from our vulnerable, playful selves who have gotten hurt in the past. Unlocking our bliss is the process of learning to unlock the gates of our keeper personas and of others so that the magical selves that await inside can be experienced.

Many of our keepers have become our prisons: not just protecting us, but insuring that our most beautiful selves are never allowed out of the walls to interact with others. These beautiful selves behind the wall wonder why nobody comes. Wonder why others avoid them. Feel shame and lonely for who they are. Our beautiful selves often do not see the array of keeper personas that protect them from all interaction. As we try and love another’s beautiful selves, we may be equally perplexed as to why our love is not good enough.

The job of the keepers is to keep others away until we develop the skill to dismantle our own defenses. By doing so, we demonstrate to the keepers that we have the skill to take care of ourselves and they are willing to relinquish the job. When we meet others who are still behind their walls it is best to respect that they don’t know how to take care of themselves without their defenses and not ask them to come out. You will only be hurt if you try and cross all their barbed wire fences.

Action: Who are your keeper personas and how do they function? Get feedback about your exact mechanism for keeping people away.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose