Evolving Dances

Victim/Villain, Helpless One/Rescuer, Child/Parent, Teacher/Student, Whiner/Commiserator. These are all masks that provide a clearly formed pattern to dance with another human being. It takes skill to learn the steps and there is intimacy in the tight fit between these pairings.

Each of these dances involves a “vertical” relationship that is complimentary. The parent, teacher, rescuer etc. is on the top and the child, student and helpless one is on the bottom.

Vertical relationships are the first step in social evolution. A child is born into a relationship with a parent. Our first loves usually continue this vertical dynamic with the hero and the damsel.

Eventually we will shed the confines of our vertical dances to make room for something vastly more complex: a horizontal dance of equals. A dance of equals can be recognized because both parties have the same classification in the partnership: Empathic Friend/ Empathic Friend, Creative Partner/ Creative Partner,  Shaman Lover/Shaman Lover. During such equal dances there can be dips into vertical relationships. A more complex form of vertical relationship involves reversing roles regularly so that we get to know both sides of the dance in ourselves and our partner.

Action: Pick a relationship that meets you in what you are learning. If you are still learning vertical dance steps, consciously choose your partner as such. Be conscious of the time when it is time to learn a different step.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose