Breaking Deadlock

Deadlock it is a symptom of a closed system with limited variables. To start the energy flowing again one way is to introduce new variables:

David has two hours of homework to do for a test tomorrow. His bed time is 10pm and there is not enough time to go to a ball game he wants to attend and get his homework done tonight. Some things just end in deadlock: David’s dad wants him to do his homework. David wants to go to the game. Odds are this is going to be resolved as a win/lose. In order for the test to be in within the timeframe, it is an either or choice. But let’s introduce a new variable: David has a friend who is willing to do David’s homework in exchange for David doing his homework later that week. David still does the same net hours of school work, gets to go to the ball game and get to bed at 10pm. David’s friend wins as well: he gets to choose a night he wants to do something for David to do his homework.

Deadlock and resentment in relationship kills sexual chemistry. While there are many situations where it is not worth the energy it takes to bring in creative variables, it is the first place to look when a couple finds themselves in a win/lose type situation.

Action: Pick an area of win/lose. Now ask yourself the question: what new variables could be introduced that would allow this situation to be a win-win? Write these down.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose