Beauty of Death

Death forces change, whether it is the death of a relationship, death of a loved one or death of a job. When you enter a relationship you are giving your partner the opportunity to play this powerful wild card of death, that, should they use it, will create change in your life whether you want it to or not. Perhaps knowing this, you make sure to end things before they do? Or choose partners where there is an unconscious agreement that they will not use this power without your permission? But the reality remains: It takes two people to agree to start a relationship, but only one to end it.

Death is a great teacher in relationship. Any issues of co-dependency, control, adaptation and power play are forced into consciousness at the death of relationship. Just as there are two tender hearts in every relationship that fear the pain of separation, there are two camps of agendas, which fear exposure and responsibility. Death in a relationship will force changes that there may not be enough skill to accomplish while the relationship lasts. It is therefore a time of tremendous potential growth. Just as birth brings a powerful infusion of new energy into the space, so death keeps us honest.

Death is a gift to those we love. Whether they want it or not, it sets them free of the contract of the relationship, conscious and unconscious, while leaving the energy of love and learning intact to those with the awareness to tap into it. Consider paying as much attention to death in relationship as you do to developing it.

Action: Have a conversation about death with your partner, preferably at the beginning of the relationship. What would a good death look like to you both? How could you learn from death? When would death be a good tool to use in your journey of healing together? Do you want to have an agreement around the death of your relationship? Focus on how death can serve you. And as with physically dying, let go of the notion that death is a symptom of failure. Thank god things are not eternal. We are often incapable of imagining what beauty may come on the heals of a death we might never have chosen in our attachment to what is.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose