Accepting What Is

I visited Sprint today to check out a new phone. I spent the whole time furious that things are what they are. They gave me a free phone but charged me $30.00 for a fifty cent adapter. “That’s not free,” I protested. “That phone is costing me $25.00 because you know I have to buy your overpriced charger!”

What was frustrating was that I did not like the way they had set things up. I did not like the choices they offered me. I felt entitled for them to not only provide me with service, but do it my way.

Many of us feel this same way about our partners: We want our partners to be in relationship with us and for them to do it our way. After all, we have sacrificed this or that and inconvenienced ourselves courting them. The least they could do would be to do things our way – which is really in their best interest because we have worked long and hard to develop the best way.

Not only is this a frustrating path, but a disempowering one. It further creates distance and damage in our relationships as our partners realize we are more interested in manipulating them to meet our needs than we are in respecting who they are.

Action: Carefully assess the pros and con’s of your partner. Given the choices you have in our life, are you satisfied that your partner is your best choice of a partner you are able and willing to create at this time? If you are, show them gratitude for providing you with a better choice than anyone else you know has – and for the enormous compliment they have provided by picking you. If not, do them the kindness of changing or ending the connection rather than punishing them for who they are not.

Contents

Cresting the Waves:

A guide to sailing through life on

Relation-Ships

Dane E. Rose